Mother's Day for me has changed quite a bit over the years. My 1st experience with Mother's Day was celebrating my own mother. While my 2nd shift in Mother's Day was celebrating my mother-in-law. I am so incredibly grateful for both of these women and the love that they poured into my life. Father's Day, on the other hand, has been a difficult holiday for me for many years. My dad passed away more than 20 years ago. I miss him greatly and long for his presence in my life. Once I met my husband, Father's Day became about celebrating him as a father of my stepsons. That shift actually healed some of my pain about the loss of my own father. I still cherish these holidays, Mother's Day and Father's Day, even though they have amplified the pain in my life.

I truly believe that being a parent is one of the greatest honors in life. It is a precious gift to have the opportunity to care for a child. Yet, I also believe it is one of the most challenging things in life as well.

This Mother's Day, as I reflect back throughout my life, I know that both my pain and my joy are also felt by other mothers and their children across the world. I also know each one of us has a different experience, emotion and feeling about the day. My hope this Mother's Day is that each one of us can focus on gratitude, that we can focus on Choosing Joy in the midst of whatever life has handed us. My hope is that the moms of a child gone before them, that they can be comforted, that they can feel the love of those around them, that they can have beautiful memories of their child that will never be in their arms again. As a mother that has lost a child, I have felt no greater pain in my life. While that is my truth, I also feel comfort in trusting that there will continue to be JOY and HOPE on the other side of loss.

I know that there are moms this Mother's Day that are watching their children fight cancer. And being honest, those words still really make me mad. It makes me mad that kids have to fight the battle against cancer. It makes me mad that parents, siblings, family and friends have to watch this fight. My greatest HOPE is that each of these mothers feel loved and cherished and cared for. That these mothers know how much their children love them.

My hope for our Ellie is that her life can bring HOPE, LOVE & JOY to others.

I stopped or slowed counting some of Ellie’s cancer battle milestones (I guess that’s what you call them) after Ellie passed away. What I do know…It's been too long living life without her. I have endured incredible pain over the last several years. And yet, I have also seen so much HOPE. The HOPE manifests itself in different ways, but I am thankful for it in whatever way it presents itself.

So today I ask that you think of those that may feel incredible pain and sadness this Mother's Day. Knowing that this day brings both Joy and incredible PAIN. I ask that as you reflect on Mother’s Day, whatever this day means for you, whether you are a child or a mother, I hope you take time to Choose Joy, whatever your circumstance. I know that there are so many people that won't be seeing their mothers this year on Mother’s Day, and so many Mom’s that will not be seeing their children on Mother’s Day. May everyone feel comfort in the midst of pain. There is one thing I know for sure today, and that is there is unity across our globe as we are all affected by the challenges of COVID-19. And, I for one hope this unity is one that will continue when COVID-19 is a distant memory.

May you Be Brave today. I know I will be!

Love, Jennifer

Forever Ellie’s Mom

Thankful for each one of my children!! Happy Mother’s Day to you all!